The most precious gift arrived earlier this week, and we’re calling him Holden. We had a baby! A BABY! Can you even believe it?! We prayed for him every single day, and now he is here with us. Adam and I are convinced that Holden is absolutely perfect in every way. Which is only natural, of course. BUT STILL! We keep turning to each other and asking, “Is this real? Is he real?” because we just can’t believe that the Holden we knew during my pregnancy is now a living and breathing person.
This child is truly our dream come true!
Holden gets about a thousand little kisses a day from Adam, Andy, and me. We can’t help it! He has giant, bright baby-blue eyes and deep, pink cheeks. And while he’s very small – barely six pounds – he fits perfectly into our arms and wants to sleep on us all day and night. Adam and I pass time at the hospital studying Holden’s every feature. I find joy in counting all ten of his tiny fingers and all ten of his little toes. Adam keeps analyzing Holden’s hair color and comparing it to our families. I’m enamored with Holden’s sweet little pout and the way his lip quivers dramatically before he cries. I think it’s my favorite thing about him. That and this photo from his hearing test, which I’ve decided to call DJ Holdie.
Even his cry is perfect to me. Because I know what it’s like to give birth and be met with silence. Nothing in my life will ever fill me with as much relief and gratitude as Holden’s first cries did. In that moment, I was so overcome with emotion that I went blank. It’s like my mind couldn’t process what was happening. But I held tight to that cry because it meant that everything was going to be OK. Holden couldn’t be with me right away, but after getting the all-clear from the NICU team, Adam brought him over to me. Our cheeks touched and my salty tears dripped onto his face and my world changed forever.
We are so proud of our strong and healthy Holden. Every time we introduce him to someone new, you can practically feel the pride radiating from Adam and me. Holden was a big surprise for us, but now we can’t imagine a single second of our lives without him. It’s like he was always here. Holding him feels a lot like holding Andy did when he first came home – like our family is finally coming together as it was always meant to be. I’m proud to say that I have three amazing sons. Andrew, Liam, and Holden. Pinch me! I can’t believe I get to honor and privilege of being their mom.
Next up, we’re heading home to settle into real life with Andy and Holden. We know the newborn phase can be a challenge. But we’re taking our profound gratitude for this precious child with us into the next few months as a reminder of just how lucky we are to have him.
Holden, we love you SO MUCH! Welcome to the world, little one!
